Deciding who will be standing next to you on your big day is no easy task. Unfortunately, friends are plentiful and wedding parties are not.


Marc Prades
Photo by Marc Prades


So how do you break the news to those close friends who did not make the cut to be in your wedding party?

Here are a few suggestions on how to break the news nicely- without hurting their feelings or your friendship.

1. Have a face to face chat about your decision.

When you decide that one of your close friends are not going to be included in your wedding party it is very important to be upfront and honest with them. Waiting until the last minute or hoping that they will catch on by themselves that they are not in the wedding party can be confusing for your friend. The best way to handle breaking the news is to meet face to face, maybe grab drinks or lunch and explain to them your logic behind choosing your bridal party. Make sure they are aware you would have loved to include them and that you are extremely happy they will be in attendance at your wedding.


2. Give the person another role at your wedding. 

In regards to telling a close friend he or she is not in your wedding party experts at Brides.com said, “If she’s somebody very close to you, you can give her another role in the wedding, such as doing a reading or making a toast at the reception.” This can be very helpful in making this special someone still feel included in your wedding ceremony. There are many duties that can be delegated at a wedding ceremony such as toasts, wedding reception planning, readings and more. Just because they are not in the wedding party does not mean they can not be involved in the wedding.


3. Have a color theme and ask them to dress in that color.

A popular trend in 2018 weddings has been to have a color theme for important people to the bride and groom at the wedding. Those guests who have a close connection with the bride and groom, such as family members or friends who were not included in the bridal party, are asked ahead of time to wear a certain themed color to the wedding. Wedding expert Summer McLane with Huff Post recounts her experience being left out of the bridal party at a close friends wedding. The bride of the wedding asked close friends to wear yellow dresses to match the wedding party and McLane wrote, “I swear, if my friend had asked me to wear a yellow dress, it would have made the sting of not being in her wedding less painful.” Sometimes it’s the little gestures that make all the difference.


Hopefully you found these tips helpful and you are now ready to tackle informing everyone who is (and isn’t) going to be a part of your wedding party.


Have any of your own bridesmaid stories to share? Comment below!